Carpe Pila

J is going to be gone most of the day. She’s going to take care of a little human, actually it’s Zak’s human.  We met Zak and his people at the boat ramp last year. So J says this day would go into her “Because we walk the dog” file.  She has a mental file of people whose lives have touched hers and K’s (and ours), just because they walk the dogs. It’s a really long file. And full of happiness (she says).

I sorta wish I could go along to hang out with Zak. I saw him briefly yesterday, when J, Buzz and I walked to the lake.  Zak’s man takes him for runs beside their car on the days when they don’t have time to walk.  I could totally do that!!  We saw Big Head Angus on the other side of the road. His man sings to him as they walk. We can hear them coming.  I asked Buzz if he recognized the song and Buzz said he couldn’t really hear it but  it was probably “You Are My Sunshine” --but I don’t think it was. Not even close, to be honest.  It was coming out of the man’s mouth from the strings he had in his ears.

When we got to the boat ramp, the mowers and blowers were there, cleaning up after the storm on Sunday night.  It was so noisy.  Once our leashes were off, J chucked the ball for me and Buzz did his usual nosing around.  On good days, he finds a stray biscuit left over from gifts people have brought to Tickles, the Boat Ramp Dog, an old golden retriever who is so fat he can barely walk.  We haven’t seen him lately, I hope he’s OK. He and Buzz hang out and talk about their favorite meals and snacks. Buzz gets to drooling because Tickles has these two old ladies who bring him leftovers every evening – on a dinner plate!   Buzz says it’s a little embarrassing when he has to hear about roast beef and gravy and pork chops and Ritz crackers–and the high points of his own foodie experiences only involve snausages and knuckle bones.  He says he has always been something of a gourmand and that most JRT’s are, but that his food experiences have been severely limited by the Big She.  Macy can get him going with her pizza stories too.

I caught a high bounce off the asphalt, my favorite game next to diving;  and the one guy who always waves at us, the Picture Taker, turned off his blower for a second and said, “Yes ma’am, he’s a smart dog” and  J says,  he really is, which made me happy, then she said,  Maxwell, I don’t know how you can be so blasé about those noises when other ones drive you nuts.  Does she not see?  It’s the ball. She needs to give me the ball when I’m having a hard time with noises. 

I spent a lot of time in the water yesterday. It was early, but already getting hot.  My routine is to catch the ball a few times, then wade into my beach area and stand just far enough into the water that I keep my stomach cool.  Everyone should try this.  When I’m cooled off, I bring the ball back for more.  At first when I did this, JK would be like, Maxwell, come here! Right now! Come! And I would just stare at them and chomp madly on the ball and stay in the water.  Then they realized that with all my fur, I get super-hot and they felt bad for being so bossy. With their weird hairless skin, they stay much cooler but it also slows down their brains.  They can still get really bossy but most of those times, I think I probably deserve it.  I’m working on being better. No really, I am.

We saw a huge crane surveying for fish  and while I was swimming, J picked up a bunch of broken tree limbs and piled them up for the men to take away.  JK pick up bottles and cans there too, left over from fishermen or visitors. They say it’s their way of saying thank you for the use of the grassy areas and the lake. Once J found a $20 bill and once she found a whole bunch of coins mixed in with piles of broken glass, from where some bad people had smashed a jar of them on the parking lot. And once K found her a pair of awesome camo glove/mittens that she took home and washed and wore every day last winter.

So there’s treasure to be found. Buzz says he already knew about the treasure and he’s either eaten it or rolled in it.  Macy likes to roll in it, too.  JK says those are dead fish or rancid dumped liver bait.  Treasure is in the nose of the beholder.

We saw Macy and Ruth in their car, and Fonzie and his people – oh it was a great walk.

K never did get to Detroit yesterday! When we got home from our walk, J listened to his voice telling her their flight was cancelled due to mechanical problems.  He was on the plane and had to get off.  So he came back and then spent the whole day up in his room, talking to no one that I could see. I hung out with him when I could. It was so hot yesterday that we all stayed in most of the day. 

A couple guys came and cut some trees on Monday.  Now JK says some men are coming to move one side of our fence this week.  I can see I may have some gruffing to do, out the window.

So I’m hanging out with K and Buzz today.  Not to hurt J’s feelings, but just us guys together is pretty cool.  Once in a while.

No haiku today, but J says to make a kind of blah blog more interesting, I should title it in Latin. Need a hint?  If I were a knight, this would be carved on my shield above a field verde, with a couple of criss-crossed Chuck-its azure.

Turds and Birds and Fearful Words

It's still dark out. J, Buzz and I are waiting for it to get light enough to walk.  K got up even earlier than J. He put on the clothes I hate, the ones that mean don't rub against my pants Maxie.  

Once J was outside planting some flowers and I was pushing dirt with my nose, helping her get it arranged.  K came out in a hurry, to say goodbye. He had on those pants he calls khakis.  While he and J were talking, I gave him a nice hug, I pressed my nose deeply into his leg. Then I did it again near his knee in the back.  K said, Well I'll see you in a couple days, hon and J said, Ummmm, yikes... and pointed.  I have to say it was a really clear nose print. You could even see my nostril holes.  K was very exasperated and went in and washed the spot, and came back out.  He said, bye and J said, ahhhhh well..., and pointed to the one by his knee.  Some people can be so growly. 

Bottom line --those clothes mean Maxwell is not going. J says something to K like, You look nice honeybun.  I stand by her to make sure she's not putting on clompy shoes and going away scent.  Today, she's not.  At least K didn't have that rolling bag. I would like to roll that bag right into the storm drain where it would disappear forever like those tennis balls I used to have.  That bag means the pack is separated for a long time; and when he comes back,  K doesn't even have a fresh biscuit for me. So if he isn't hunting for food...??  Today it's a place called Detroit.  I bet Detroit is a fun place to be.

J let the turtle go into the woods behind the house yesterday.  The other day K said to her, How's the turd? and she stared at him for a full minute before she realized what he meant. The thing about K - he just waits it out.  Waits for her to get it and enjoys the process.  She finally laughed and said I really did not know how to answer that! He's doing great. The turd spent most of his time burrowed under his potting soil beach. I couldn't even see him.  J told me it's better for turds to be free. We watched him through the fence for a couple minutes while he got used to the new place. J checked back later and he was gone. Bye, turd.

Yesterday evening J was making fish tacos (Gag. Buzz gets fish oil on his food to help keep his joints limber. J tried to give it to me once and I thought I would be sick.) I was laying on the rug watching her work and playing with my purple baby, that one there, the one from Annabelle. It is an awesome baby, squeaks AND crinkles. Anyway, J looked out the window and then just kept looking. She said to me, I need to fill that thing, that little bird is looking for seeds.  Then she looked closer, and said Oh no! and opened the back door and ran fast, out through the deck to the birdfeeder.  I raced with her. She lifted the birdfeeder down. Inside the clear plastic bin was a tiny bird, exhausted from trying to get out. Hey birdie, said J. Here, the lid is off - you can...  and the bird flew right out.  J told K about it later. It had obviously gotten in through one of those little dispenser holes.  K said, Whoa, weird. Who would have thought that! J filled it back up so the holes are blocked with seeds.  I wish one of those s.q.u.i.r.r.e.l.s would crawl in there and get stuck!!

I've had a hard time with a couple things. J says the best way to deal with your fears is to face them head on.  I want to believe her but I can't keep my mind from filling with dread. On Sunday K became the Hog. We all stood out there to watch him, and when he started the roaring, I just couldn't stand still. I yanked my head right out of my collar and backed way away.  Then when the Hog drove down the driveway, I chased that thing down the street and barked it far, far from me!! JK says I'll get used to it just like I got used to the espresso machine and the smoothie maker.  I like the Hog when it's sitting still. I'll sniff it. But not its noise.

To make matters worse, later that day we had a storm.  Buzz and I can feel the scary air.  We know what's coming and we hate it.  There was a bolt of lightning and then a huge crack of thunder. The wind blew and it rained really hard.  Buzz went into the little bathroom and laid there on the rug.  I would have joined him but K was out cleaning the garage and ignoring all the dangers!!! I stayed out there with him, I wanted to herd him to safety but when another loud bang happened, I was gone. Every man and dog for himself.  I ran out and tore down the street. I didn't know where I was going but I wasn't staying there to be attacked.  Then all of a sudden I thought, what am I doing! I wheeled around and headed back. When I looked up and saw KJ standing in the front doorway, calling me, Maxie, come on in! I zoomed across the street, onto my lawn, into the house. But I couldn't stop shaking.  I hate storms and thunder.  JK just give me a little pat and say, it'll be fine. They don't fuss over me because Cesar says that just reinforces my fears. (Cesar! That's another blog). But I stick pretty close to them. I try really, really hard to ignore the sounds.  I'm so shaky that I can't even hold my ears up.  I was so glad when it was over with.

Remember the construction site across the street? Well, that's what I hate about it. The banging sounds and the loud scraping and squeals and beeps.  When JK eats lunch on the porch, I have to stay there with them, even though the sounds scare me.  I'm getting more used to that one, though.  And oh yeah, I hate the sound of K getting dental floss out of the container.  And that hole punch thing J is using these days to make flower confetti. I don't like that either. 

So those are my fearful words.  J says turn them into a haiku, then we can go for a walk.

The air is purple
I feel so crazy
Sounds steal sane thoughts

There. I faced them.  Now, can we go?

In Which The Pup Comes Home, by BUZZ

Hey Everyone,

Buzz again.  So anyway, where was I? Oh right, the pup was in the back yard, caged like a coyote, and J went upstairs to get K.  K came down and they sat on the back deck and let the pup come up to them.  They petted him a little.  K said, “You’re right, he’s pretty cute. But he’s so skittish and wild.”  

J finally, finally fed me, and gave the pup some water, which he drank; and a biscuit (wait a second), then she tried again to let him in the house, because it was pretty chilly. He ran off and stared at her.
“Well,” J said, putting on her coat and picking up the leash. “Let’s try this again.”  K went back upstairs to work, and I trotted towards my bed. What an exhausting morning.

“No, no, stay here. Buzzy, you have to come with us,” J told me. “I know you think you need a nap, but all this fresh air will do you good! And I need you to let him know it’s okay. He’s better if you’re around. So come on, let’s go find out where this puppy lives.”

I tried every technique I had honed over the past thirteen years to avoid going back out. Stinkeye. Hangdog. Anchor. Butt drag. Deaf as a dinner dish. Slinky. Invisible. Nothing worked. The Big She ignored everything.

Of course she was right. The pup came right up to me. I’m like that, not to brag, but the harmony and scent of a JRT life well-lived is irresistible to other dogs.

By the way. If humans would quit taking so many showers and baths, if they would let the true, honest scent of their bodies do the talking, the world would be a much less confusing place. This is my firm belief.  But J said once she stood behind a true, honest man in the grocery line and she just about passed out from all the honesty emanating from under his arms and out of his unmentionable area pores. I just stared at her. And??  Did she sniff his butt to get the real story? No? Well then, don’t complain to me. 

We walked the other way this time, to the end of our street. On a whim, J went to a door and rang a bell.  The woman there told us that the pup lived across the streetfrom her. WHAT! Two doors away from us? And we had been outside how long??

Up a driveway, up some stairs to a small front porch with a couple planters on either side of the door. J rang the doorbell.The pup was wiggling and jumping, completely crazed with excitement.A woman answered the door and as soon as I saw her apologetic face, I knew this black and white Philistine was home.  THANK GOODNESS.

“Is this your dog?” J asked.

“Thank you so much. Yes. I opened the door and he just bolted.  He’s completely out of control.  We have to keep him kenneled all the time.” She pointed to a large dog cage in the corner of the living room with a tiny fleece mat in it.

“You know, you really should have an ID tag on your dog. I’ve had him for over two hours. I just had no idea whose he was.” J didn’t say it unkindly, and I was glad she mentioned it.  An ID tag on the wild child and I would have had my breakfast way earlier. 

"I know. I'm sorry. He's just out of control." The pup raced over and leaped against the woman, then careened around and jumped again.  “Max! Down!” she said helplessly, then looked at J.  “See?”

“Max is his name? Well, if you want, I could stop that jumping immediately.”  As if taking the challenge, the pup raced up to J, took a mighty leap, and J put up her knee. “DOWN.”  His chest hit her square in the kneecap and he fell back, gave her a shocked stare, then walked to the edge of the couch and sat down.  J went over and petted him.  I hid a smile.  Could have toldya, buddy. Heh. 

“That’s IT?”

“Pretty much. No dog is going to choose to get smacked in the chest. Not if they’re smart anyway. And he is intelligent, you can tell.   Jenny, by the way.”

“Donna.” They shook hands.  “Well, we’re going to get rid of him. I have an ad on Craigslist right now. My daughter will be heartbroken but we just can’t handle him. The cats are a mess and my husband is tired of dealing with it.”   What! I glanced quickly to see if the pup had heard. Doubtful. He was loudly sucking up water with his gigantic pink tongue, a cigarette boat-sized wake sloshing over the edges. Yipes.  All that slobber.   I looked away. I don’t mean to brag, but I take great pride in my mannerly lapping.  Most JRTs do.

Now the next part, I missed. I was still trying to get my head around but he is intelligent, you can tell. The pup ate three kibbles and tore into the kitchen, then skidded up to me and licked my muzzle.  Mmmmmhmmmmm. Serious intelligence there.  I was questioning J’s, for sure.

And J’s intelligence failed, bigtime.  “Well, please don’t get rid of him until I get back to you.  We may want him.”

“Seriously?!” The woman looked so happy. “Oh, that would be wonderful.”

“Ah, please, please...don’t get your hopes up, I need to talk it over with my husband. But I’ll let you know today.”

And that is how the pup came to live with us.  K has told the story enough times that I know how their conversation went. 

J: Guess what I want for Valentine’s Day

K: That dog

J: What! How did you know?

K: Oh please. As soon as I looked out the window and saw you with that wild animal at the end of the leash, crossing the lawn, I knew we were going to get another dog.

J: But you didn’t know they were wanting to get rid of him!

K: Doesn’t matter. I knew. Happy Valentine’s Day, honeybun.

J: Admit it, you like him, too.

K: I like him too.

J says now, she had a what have I done feeling as soon as that conversation was over.  But if there is anything I know about J, it’s that if she decides she’s going to do something, she’ll do it. That is the Big She I'm constantly doing battle with.

The next day the pup joined our household. J changed his name to Maxwell, as in Maxwell Smart; she said, like the secret agent, he is both smart and ditzy. I agree with half of it. Like you don't know which half. Heh.

Along with the secret agent, to a lesser degree, the little girl who loves him (and now me too), came into our lives.  I like that part. But oh man, the training was something else again.  So much to do, so much to undo. So much for an old man to put up with. 

 I'll check back later with more. Forced march on the docket.

K and the Pet Hawg

We walked yesterday and had breakfast and then I could tell K and J were headed out.  I watched them get ready and helped K tie his shoes, I stood in their closet and told J she shouldn't wear the red striped tank top if she was going to tuck it in (too broad, not to hurt her feelings, but really, it was).  I love, love their bathroom. It's cool on the tile and warm on the rug, and oh, the smells! 

I was right, Buzz and I got a tiny rawhide (the flavored kind) and were patted and put on the deck. I went right out the dog door and to the gate, to watch JK drive away. I can see their faces in the rearview mirrors, and if I listen really close I'll hear J say, "Bye Maxie" -one last wave, and then they're gone.  Usually I race to the other side of the yard to get one last glimpse, but yesterday I just took it in stride and went to do some chewing.

They were gone a long, long time. At about our dinnertime, J came back - with two Chick Fil A sandwiches-- but she was alone! No K? I looked all over.  It made no sense!  J is great and so is K. But JK is how it is! The pack must stand together!  I have to admit I felt a little dejected, but I felt better when J said, You guys want to come with me to check the mail?  The mail! Oh, the mail! Biscuits all around if we bring in the mail!!! Buzz always gets the important letters and he trots in as if he were delivering a winning lottery check. J gives me something she calls "flyers".  I think because I fly so fast back to the house with them after I shred them on the lawn. I love getting the mail.
But then J did something really, really weird.  Right there in the kitchen, she changed her shirt to one that she had in a bag! What the heck!

Then we headed to the front door. I raced out, down the steps, and zipped over to the mailbox. I was nosing around the trunk of the mailbox (four new dogs had visited) when I heard a loud chuffing noise. Loud. 

High alert!! I stared down the street. A weird rounded-headed thing with two wheels stopped to talk to J.  She showed it her shirt and the round-headed thing gave her the thumbs up. chuff chuff chuff...and then it turned and came up our driveway!!!

I tell you, I went nuts.  I haven't barked like that in a long, long time.  J was laughing and the round headed thing actually broke apart from the wheels.  Call him. J said. The round headed thing held out his hand to me.  Hey Max. Come here, buddy. Oh, right. I was having none of this.

The chuffing noise stopped and the round-headed thing...was K.  He held his round head in his hands now - and yep, it was K.  You could have knocked me over with a kibble, just when I think I have JK figured out, something else comes along that I have to learn about.  I got a little closer but I wasn't about to trust that thing. K was saying to J, It was fantastic! So much fun! and J was saying, in that dumb way she has- she purty, she a purty, purty bike. And so glad you had fun - I'm so happy for you - it is awesome!! Bike? I have run beside J many times on a bike and that was no bike. It was a hog. A snorting, snuffing HOG. And I didn't trust it, not one little bit.

But J and K seemed so happy about it, that I finally decided it is a good thing. If it makes K that happy, what can be bad. I know the big smile on his face in this picture is because he's so glad to see me, and pet me. And he's happy because I do think I really like his hog. It can almost out-chuff me. But I'm going to keep an eye on that thing. It better behave itself. And it can have the round-headed K. I like the other one better.

Later K took his hog for a run, and J and Buzz and I went down to the dock. I did some diving and swimming, and the world became sane again.

It was the perfect end to a really weird day. And the funny thing is, after K got home, right as late evening arrived and I was falling, falling into sleep, I heard K say to J as they chatted in their narcoloungers, It was the perfect end to a really great day.  Huh. I didn't realize he had seen me jumping.

How The Whippersnapper Got Here, by BUZZ

Hey Everyone,

Buzz again.  I’ve been going through some of the pup’s blogs and made notes – typical of his slapdash ways, he’s mentioned a few items and then never gotten back to them.  For instance, his puppy days.  And the construction site next door (nothing I’d write home about but apparently for him it’s noteworthy), and then of course my own stories, which I’ve asked him to include, and he says he will.  I don’t doubt his sincerity, but A Dog Has Doubts, if you get my drift. If you don’t understand, contact me personally and I’ll happily talk off the record.

I figure I’m the better one to tell about how the whippersnapper came to live with us. His memory is fuzzy when it comes to that. It all started for me, J likes to say, with an outhouse.  I know, I know…but that’s what she says.  When JK first got their cabin, which has an outhouse, J realized that although it was kind of a hassle to go outside to go outside, so to speak; and even though it was chilly, she loved the feeling of being outdoors first thing every day in the early morning hours.  She realized that when you have no choice in the matter, you just do your thing. As if I or any other housebroken dog couldn’t have told her this a thousand times—and it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, believe me.   K looked at her in that certain way he does now and then, one that I have come to recognize as “I’m listening but not sure why you’re telling me this.”  I looked at both of them and thought, not for the first time, humans are crazy. 

So how does POINT A, Outhouse, lead to Point B, Pup? Well, J made a vow after they got back from Montana that year, I think it was 2008, that she would get outside every morning first thing for a walk – and that I had to come along. “Hop on out of there, Buzzie.”  Leash with my collar attached, tags jingling. “You’ll feel better, too.” I stared up at her from my bed. My warm soft soothing bed, my little fortress under the kitchen desk.  My fuzzy mattress and my tiny camo comforter, bunched into a perfect pillow against the woven sides. Leave this? I think not.

So we started walking. When The Big She decides I’m going to do something with her, there is no alternative choice.  Macy and Hank call her the “Dog Nazi”.  It’s hard to dispute that term, I have to say.  But I’m used to JK and their ways, and I can’t say my life hasn’t been pretty darn good, all fourteen years and counting.  Plus… I have to admit, walking for the most part was OK. Because soon we started meeting people and dogs and I was allowed off the leash and of course I never ran away, I never even thought about it. What I do like to do is lag waaaaaaay behind, in the hopes that no one will notice, then when they turn around to come back, I’m way ahead.  K calls it my “Boston Marathon Cheater Winner” strategy. I say I’m doing my part to conserve energy.

One day in January 2010, J and I were walking down our street toward Sailview St. when a little black and white dog came rocketing by.  Then he turned around and came running back, ridiculously joyful and (in my mind) a little manic. He had on a collar, but no tags. J of course had to pet him like she pets all dogs, and he gave me a very excited greeting, licking and jumping – I got a little growly; that kind of behavior is just not done in my circles.  Then off he went, right into the middle of the street, dancing and prancing, running as though ghosts were chasing him. Once he looked back at us, staring J right in the eyes.   J swears to this day that he said, “Help me, help me” in that look.  “What in the world...?  Hey!” J called to a man ahead of us, “Is that your dog?” The man ignored us- it wasn't his dog- and the black and white puppy raced between two houses, and disappeared. We looked for it briefly, then to my great relief, we headed home.

Later that day, J told K all about the pup.  “He was completely adorable. I’ve never really seen a dog like it. He looked like a Jack Russell, but not.  I just can’t figure out who he belongs to. I hope he’s not lost. He had no tags. I just can’t forget that look.”  Looked like a Jack Russell?  I had to stifle a snort.  Oh, hey, and while you’re at it, don’t forget to pet the German Shepherd you’ve got down here under the desk. 

A month or so went by.  J mentioned the little black and white dog more often than I felt was necessary.  Then all of a sudden, one day when we were just getting back from our walk, who races across our lawn, but the black and white puppy.  “Hey!” Jen held out her hand. “Come here, cutie.”  The pup ran up to her. J took off my leash and snapped it onto his collar (still no tags); and outside of a rodeo featuring the famous bull Little Yellow Jacket out of North Dakota, you have never seen such bucking and fighting as that pup put up at the end of that rope. I’m surprised he didn’t choke to death right there.

Well, that day, (with no breakfast inside me, by the way) we walked all over the neighborhood, asking if the black and white pup belonged to them. No one knew anything.  For two hours we searched. Betty and Hank joined us.  Other people came out and made a fuss of the black and white puppy. What is it about him, he attracts women like flies.  I just hung out and thought about a certain little white dish with a bone painted on the bottom, a bone I hoped to lick to see again in this lifetime.  The pup bucked and jumped and whined and yelped – I have never seen such a display. Disgusting, really.  J had to drag him along.  On my leash!  I trotted along with my head held high, ignoring the pup and basically just trying to maintain some dignity in the face of this spectacle. 

Long story short, J finally just brought him home and put him in the back yard, inside the fence. He refused to even come close to the house.  Everytime she opened the door to invite him in, he bolted for the other end of the yard, circling like a coyote around a rabbit and avoiding all contact. I tried to tell him he could trust J, but he was having none of it.  Finally J gave up, went upstairs and got K. Still no breakfast for me, and it was after 10 AM and we were cold, too. That day is etched in my mind. I got breakfast three hours late!!! Here's a picture of how he looked back then. J got this from the pup's ex. Jack Russell, my water dish. Maybe some diluted blood.... But no JRT has legs like that, or feet like dinner plates. Did someone mention dinner?

Oh man. This is hard work. And writing about food is making me hungry even though there's a few hours til breakfast. I’ll write the second half tomorrow.   A camo comforter is calling, calling.zzzzzzzzzz

Howlamutes and Turtles

J and I are sitting on the back deck, while it's still cool. I feel so lively!!  Here are the sounds:  a cardinal, boats going fast on the lake while it's still smooth, squirrels knocking stuff out of trees, a ticked-off mockingbird chasing a crow, some birds I don't know, little dogs yipping and big dogs barking, an airplane, sprinklers on the neighbors' lawn, cars now and then. So all in all, it's pretty quiet. I'm doing a little off-and-on gruffing at some dorky doves waddling around under the bird feeder,  just to make sure they know I'm here.

It's a little too early for the malamute behind us,  AKA Howlamute, to be outdoors, but I'm sure he'll start in pretty soon.  I feel sorry for him, but....  all I want to do is sit on my deck and enjoy the peace and quiet.

On the days when we do the church/ Pine Cove walk, we walk by his house where he lives with two other dogs. All three of them are tied out front but Howlamute never gets to be close to the other two, so I'm sure he gets lonely.  Wish I could visit with him.  Well, I guess Howlamute could be a girl.  I don't know, I never get to get close enough to see. Anyway, when we walk by, Buzz usually ignores them, he's too busy giving K the stinkeye for making him walk in front, but I turn my head to say hello and acknowledge them. They stare at us and never say anything.  Buzz says they're a gang and I should avoid them if I know what's good for me.  Ahhhh....Who's tied up, and who's walking, gang??  I try not to feel smug but they ask for it. They have an electric underground fence, but they are still tied up.

Later in the day, Howlamute starts in. Well, K and J call it "howling" which kind of annoys me. If they would just take a minute to listen to the words.  "IDITAROOOOOOOOD! ALASKAAAAAAAAAH! SNOOOOOOOOOW! MUUUUUUUSH!"   (Buzz says, "That jackbooted thug of a Husky is anything but mute. It needs to move back to the Great White North, where I hail from..." and I think, Wait a second, I thought you were deaf?)

Yesterday was such a good day. It didn't get so hot. We did the Pine Cove walk and got let off the leash in the usual spots  - the church, and the road to the cul de sac.  I know now that my freedom depends on whether I come when I'm called, and every so often J or K will have me "check in"  where I have to come back and put my nose on their hand to prove that I'm listening - then they say, "Stick around, Maxie" - and I can run off again. Buzz and I are not allowed to run around in the cemetery or lift our legs on the grave stones, not even this one!

JK says it would be ridiculously disrespectful and they are very grateful for the church being so nice about having a walking path for us to use, so they make us observe the rules. As far as I know, we are the only dogs who have to do this but KJ says oh, and if other dogs ran into the middle of the road after a pack of squirrels, butterflies, bird shadows and rabbits, would you follow them?  Well, umm.

Yesterday J was mowing the lawn and I was doing my usual hanging out with her, when all of a sudden she stopped the mower and bent down and looked in the grass.  Then she said, Oh my word and I  raced over to see what she had.  A tiny baby turtle!

I have met only one other turtle, last month.  You've probably seen the picture on the front page.  That day, K pointed it out to J, it was in the middle of the busy, fast road, so they brought it to the woods by the lake and let it go.  But this one was was soo little!  J had pushed the mower right over it and she was worried that she had hurt it, but it must have been down far enough in the grass to be safe.  I was extremely excited, "Show me! Show me!"

so I got to sniff it, then we took it upstairs to show K.  He liked it a lot too, they talked about how cute it was.  J said she thought it was a hickory nut, then it moved. K said he couldn't believe she actually saw it at all and they talked like that for a while, BORING, let's get back to the sniffing!!

Then J made a little resort for it, with a potting soil beach and a leaf tent and a plastic lid for a pool. I talked to it for a while. It really is so cute.

It's just as big as a spoon.  J wants to keep it for a little bit, then she's going to let it go free in the woods by the lake.  But she doesn't want snakes to get it or whatever. I'm keeping an eye on things. No sneaky snakes on my watch.

K and J had a houseful of company last night. Eight adults and two babies. It was noisy and they laughed A LOT.  Oh I LOVE babies, I mean, their adorable wiggly feet, I just want to lick them to death!!! Buzz and I got big old ham bones and had to stay outside. But I didn't mind.  Buzz finished chewing his bone (he says ham bones are not as good as beef and that "purebreds just know these things" whatever!!) and then spent most of his time staring through the door at the people inside.  I told him just to relax and enjoy the cool of the evening, but he gets a little grumpy when I suggest things (he says he doesn't need to be told what "relaxing" entails... so after that I just ignored him. Yowza). 

Well, I have been doing other things like running through the sprinklers and waking K up, so now I need to herd everyone toward the garage. The sun is up.  Time to walk before it gets too hot.  

And a Fine Haiku to You

It's been so hot. So hot that I don't want to go outside after about mid-morning. I get a little bored but I better not show it, or J will find something for me to do. For instance, It's not enough that I'm writing a blog.  J now tells me she thinks I should stretch my mind and write a haiku poem now and then.  I just stared up at her. Sometimes I try to look a little cross-eyed so she thinks I'm a tadbit slow.  It didn't work.

 Just think about your day, she told me, and then write something about it in a verse, five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. It's a type of non-rhyming Hawaiian prose that paints a picture. Writing haiku boils our thoughts down to their barest expression.  You can do it, Maxie.

She patted me on the head and went off to do something in the kitchen  - Buzz can tell when we have company coming, and that's what he says is going on right now.  Someone's coming over for dinner.  I love company. I love the smells and the sparkling house. I follow J everywhere, help her vacuum, toss my babies in front of the broom, generally just keep her company. I know she appreciates it.

Yesterday at the boat ramp, I met up with Fletch, Molly, and a new dog, a poodle babe named Blaze.  She was cute.   Fletch and I did most of the swimming and ball fetching.  I ran my fastest and swam my hardest.   When J told the ladies that I was writing a blog, they looked at each other.  Then the one lady said to the other lady, "And I thought I was crazy."  Then she proceeded to invite us to the annual dog Christmas party she has at her house!  I'm already excited.  These are the people that live near the other people where the lady painted her dogs' portraits on some Halloween pumpkins.  (Buzz wants me to tell his joke, "or are they pupkins?"). 

Oh and also yesterday J talked to the guy who mows at the boat ramp, who took my picture last spring. He didn't recognize me, I've gotten so big.  That made me proud.

I need to post a couple more pictures, one of Izzy, whose people are Jason and Melissa.  Izzy, like Buzz and Macy, is a JRT.  I'm surrounded! 

That's Izzy, staring down the cow. I was impressed at her fearlessness. I had never even seen a cow before this day.  Izzy lives in Manhattan, Montana.  Apparently she's got a human baby to take care of now, Maggie.

Izzy is  thinner than Buzz and taller than Macy, it just goes to show how different all dogs are, even within the same breed.  I had a lot of fun with Izzy. She's crazy!

On our way back last summer, we stopped in South Dakota for a night, to visit Barb and Dave. They have a huge dog named Jake. Buzz and I liked just hanging out with him. He got a little protective of his water dish.  But he was nice about it. 

Maxie, they say, Max!
There's a squirrel, right outside
All my alarms go off

Well, that fried my brain. I need to clear my mind with a good sniffing walk. Talk later.

My friends

I feel much, much better.  Buzz is taking a nap and I don't want to wake him up just to post a few pictures.   I'll write more about Buzz. He says no old man should have to put up with a whippersnapper (whatever that is) for a companion, but then he plays tug of war with me or tells me to listen for JK calling us, or the garage door going up if they have been gone; and I know he doesn't really mind that much. He says he's deaf, but how can he hear that lid come off the biscuit jar or the spoon clink on his bowl when JK stirs his food? I don't really get it.

Buzz and I have so many friends.  I would have more, but some dogs are just grouchy. The other day on our way back from the lake, we talked to a man whose dog looked a tiny bit like me.  He (the dog) was rude.  The man said his name was Big Head Angus.  He did have a big head and he growled at us.  Take out the "G" and we could have come up with a sorta bad word for his nickname but JK would have frowned at that.  We have to be polite even when other owners let their dogs get growly.  If he feels like the other dog is paying too much attention to me, Buzz still tries now and then to do that ridiculous mounting thing, I just get like, 'what?!' and walk away. You should have seen him with a Great Dane we once met, named Patches.  I don't even want to think about how embarassing that was.  Oh, I could write a book about Buzz and his stories. 
Well so anyway, here are our friends!!

This is Macy. She's one of my best friends. And Buzz's, but he gets bored with both of us pretty quickly.  Here she's visiting Buzz in his bed.  He doesn't mind.  She comes to visit now and then; and we meet her and Ruth on walks. Macy is a bit of a princess, the good kind, the kind with jewels on her collar, that rolls in dead fish and knows how to play in the dirt and the shallow part of the lake.  She's killed more snakes than I have (that would be zero). Buzz says that in his heyday he killed a lot of moles, and then sometimes he and Macy compare JRT killer stories and I try to tell them about the bird shadow I chased away and they kind of stare at me.

Here's Hank, with Macy, and Ruth's girl Maddie, in the lake. Hank is Betty's dog.  If I see them from far away, it's all I can do not to cramp up from wagging.  Betty is the only person who seems to understand how much I hate the "Gentle Leader" (a story for another blog).  So when we meet up with them, I always spend a few seconds rubbing my nose in the grass so she will say, "He's saying, 'get that thing off me!'"  I never do it otherwise, no one else has any sympathy. Hank is very dignified and I'm kind of in awe of him.  He gets to stand in the middle of the road while our people talk, and his leash is a mile long. 

Here's Hank, Buzz, me, and Macy at Buzz's and my birthday party last October, when Buzz turned 14 and I turned 1. We had milkbone sundaes at the boat ramp. It was the best party ever.

Buzz and I met a lot of friends last summer, too, when we drove out to Montana with J. What a trip that was.  I had a blast but Buzz said he didn't care if Montana was the land of his birth, he is a southern dog now and the cold air in the mountain cabin made his bones ache. Plus he hated the hikes.  I'll have to tell you about that sometime.

Here are the friends we met on that trip:

This is Oliver. He lives on a farm in Nebraska with the Clark clan. I've seen crows bigger than this dog. I actually didn't know he was a dog, at first. No offense. I am literally ten times heavier than he is. As you can tell from the picture, he has some serious attitude, lots of swagger and P and V, cocky little banty rooster K9.  My favorite part was when I'd chase the ball, and he'd chase me.  I'd love to see him again.

Here's Oliver again, with his companion Mae, and Buzz and me. Mae is pretty nice, but she doesn't suffer fools gladly. I'm not sure what's going on in this picture, but I think what it was, was, Oliver and Mae didn't like the stench of travel on Buzz and me. (I can't help it that I dived into that treatment pond by that gas station in Missouri). Us four had a great time hanging out at the Clark pond. 

In Nebraska, too, we met Pip. Her people are related to J. So are Oliver and Mae's.  And Pip is related to Mae somehow, too, I don't know all the ins and outs but I think they're sisters.  I wish I knew my sisters.

This is Pip, at the cabin, with her people, who are very nice.  Pip is kind of like Buzz, not the run around and play type, but she's easy to get along with and I like hanging out with her. 

 
Radar lives in Billing, Montana.  Oh, Buzz and I loved this little guy. He was just a pup.  He and I had a great time playing tug of war. I'll see if I can find a picture.  Yeah here we are.  I could swing him around in the air and he wouldn't let go.

Well, I have more friends for you to meet - Izzy, Tucker, Jake, and then some I hope to meet someday, Penny, Annabelle, Sophie, Lexi, Godiva...and then some I don't have pictures of yet - Zach and Fonzie - but I have a lot on my schedule today so I better get going.  First up...I need a nap. Maybe I'm not quite back up to par.

The Whippersnapper is Under the Weather, by BUZZ

Hi Everyone, Buzz here.  Maxwell overdid. I warned him. It's better to conserve energy, take a few steps each minute, let the folks pull you along, find a lot of places to pee, then take your sweet time finding just the right blade of grass.   But no. He just bounces around nonstop, and then needs a whole day to recover. If we were Winnie the Pooh characters, he is pure Tigger with maybe just a touch of Roo, while I am a more complex mix of Owl, Eeyore, and Pooh-- and contrary to what you might have heard, I am a ball of fire to boot. 

M was more than willing to let me eat his food yesterday, said he wasn't really hungry, but someone seemed to know everytime I tiptoed near his gigantic dish full of food. I could take a bath in that thing; it's completely unfair that his "energy level" requires him to have "more." And yet here I am, willing to help, giving of myself to save the food from spoiling, and the Big She stops me in my tracks. So annoying, can't she find anything else to do?  And is there anything more frustrating than trying to tiptoe on wood floors with claws??

But from what I understand, the pup said he was going to post pictures of his friends today. Make that OUR friends. Seeing as how he met them basically because of me, I think I can help out here. Oh, what! OK, guess I have to do it later. The Big He has to get to work so we have a forced march.  Yawn. And Dang.

Humans are a little odd.

But we like them anyway.  Take for instance, food.  A lot of times, J will be fixing  lunch and Buzz and I will be watching, very closely.  I try to put my ears down into what JK calls the "Seinfeld shower" look. Flat to my head and very beggarly.  But we're not allowed to whine. Usually somewhere in there, we'll get a carrot or two, man, those are delicious. So anyway, Jen will be fixing her meal and she'll say something like, "Oh, this looks soooo good."  Then she'll look at us and say, "But not as good as dog food."  By that, I know our food tastes better, because she would never say that if she didn't mean it.  We're the lucky ones. 

But here's the thing.  One time, K grilled four turkey burgers on the grill. They fixed their plates and went to sit in their narcoloungers and eat dinner and watch TV.  (Seinfeld, probably.  What is with that show, there are no dogs except a couple annoying ones now and then. And Costanza! I'd like to bite him. And I'm not a biter).  Later Ken took his plate to the kitchen and even though I was in another room, I heard him say, "Hon, did you double up your burger?"  Jen was like, "What! No, I just had one."    K said something like, "Well, there's only one left on this plate out here on the counter."  J said, "Maybe you doubled up and you just don't remember." And back and forth.  I think K thinks J really did double up. And vice versa. All I can say is, Buzz is very jealous of how tall I am. I wanted to share. I really did.  No. Really.

Yesterday was a great one for food!  KJ grilled hot dogs (K says he ate them every Memorial Day as a kid). J made potato salad and they ate that annoying cantelope that we ignore if it falls on the floor. 

First, we walked to the boat ramp. Jen had some shampoo in the backpack, because Buzz is still red-dirty and grungy. But when we got there, there were so many fishermen that Buzz escaped the scrub.  To celebrate, he rolled in fresh spoor. Well, I don't know if it was fresh spoor, but I like to say "spoor."  I chased the ball, caught some high bounces, did some swimming, etc.  It was already getting hot by then.

On the walk back, Buzz and I saw a long green snake in the road. It had just gotten run over. I felt sorry for it.  Buzz says in his heyday, he would have killed that thing toot sweet and then he told me, for the umpteenth time, about a flying squirrel he pounced on and killed when he lived in Georgia. I pretended I had never heard it before. 

When we got back - after breakfast -Oh GLORY. The boat, the boat, the boatboatboat!  We went for a long ride.  Jen said it was like surfing crossways on a waffle. Pretty choppy. There were so many boats out, so much wake, that we did a lot of bouncing.  Doesn't matter. I spend most of my time keeping watch out front. If it gets too rough, I just crouch down. But K needs me to be on the alert. It's my job.

Buzz got down on the floor of the boat, and I could tell he was feeling a little seasick, so for a while I left the bow and let him rest his head on my back in the shade.  He appreciated it. JK told me I was a good dog and J petted my foot with her foot. It was a great ride.

When we got back, we got a couple biscuits and JK ate lunch. Or dinner. I don't know. Something in the middle of the day.  I spent the next hour chasing butterflies and bird shadows in the back yard.  There is always work to be done.

JK left for a while and -now this is where it gets good - they brought us ice cream cones!!  Buzz taught me how to eat them, you lick inside the cracker part and then just crunch.  Brain freeze! Then after that, back down to the dock for a little more swimming and JK covered the boat.  And that was our Memorial Day.  I hope yours was just as good. 

So I hope you all check back...Tomorrow I'm going to showcase all my friends, that I have pictures of.  Pretty exciting. I was sooo happy to hear from Oliver and Mae. Ollie - I call those "pelts." But to be honest, you're one up on me, I have never found a rabbit head.  Later guys.

An extra day!

Ken and Jen are hanging out today, it's a "holiday!"  Which means Ken isn't spending time in that room upstairs, where I go to visit him several times a day.  He's always happy to see me, but sometimes he's just talking and talking, to absolutely nobody that I can see. If he's talking to me, I don't get it.  I know "get the ball" and "jump in the lake" and a whole lot else, but when he says "get a price quote" or "jump on that" -? No clue. I look around the room but ususally I just go over to the window and look out, or lie under his desk to keep his feet warm. But I'll keep trying and let you know if I figure out where the pricequote is.  He doesn't seem to mind when I just bring him my babies instead.

My babies?  I never told you about my babies? Hold on a second.

Here's Buzz and me coming in from outdoors, after Jen sent me out to get my baby. I had buried it in some pine straw. This baby here is my absolute favorite. It's a little white dog.  Oh, and that's a bone up there in the corner of my mouth. How I got this baby is actually a pretty good story.  I can tell it if you want. Ok, ok. (I love to tell stories).

Well, it was a day back in late December of last year. KJ decided that Buzz and I would get to go along with them to a town called Savannah, Georgia.  We were going to meet up with Lindsay, Chris, Deb, and Mark.  Deb and Mark are Chris's parents and KJ are Lindsay's.  Deb and Mark had apparently come a long, long way to see Linds and Chris. Wherever "Australia" is. All I know is, I was soooo excited to go in the car!! And so was Buzz.  Jen spiffed us up a bit and then we got put in the back. Buzz just lays down and relaxes, but I can't stand it, I have to look out the windows and because I just know something is going to happen, I can't sit still. At least, not at first. On this day, I spent most of my time hanging my head over the seat so that I could see out that front window and listen to KJ talk. 

Well, naturally I got a little restless around about somewhere in South Carolina. It's about a four hour trip, and a guy needs a bathroom break. So Ken pulled over at some small town and we drove past the restaurants and Starbucks and grocery stores to a big empty lot with just some dumpsters scattered around. Buzz and I of course were just dancing with excitement - "we get to get out!!"  We leaped out as soon as Ken opened the back, and Buzz of course runs right over to the nearest bunch of grass and does his business.  (Buzz is the one who taught me how to lift my leg. Before that I just squatted. He's better at it than I am, but I lift mine WAY higher, I don't get why KJ always laugh at me, but they do).  I was looking for the perfect spot and saw a kind of boxy thing, with clothes spilling out of a slot and  two cardboard boxes full of treasures in front of it.  On the very top of one box was a little stuffed white dog. I couldn't believe someone had left it there for me! I raced over and grabbed it, and since that day, it's been my favorite baby.

Well, there's more to this story. So Buzz came over and asked where his toy was. Jen dug around in the box and found one more stuffed thing.  "What the heck?" she said to Ken. "This is a stuffed scabies mange?" Ken took it and read the label. "Hmm, stuffed microbes. I can't believe they wanted to give this to charity."  And so Buzz got scabies mange.  He hated it, from the second he got it.  He wouldn't touch it or play with it.  KJ just laughed and laughed.  Later on at home, Jen took a picture of Buzz with scabies mange.  

 You can tell by the look in Buzz's eye that he is repulsed by scabies mange. But I found my baby first, he wasn't even looking in the box, so I got to keep it.

Yeah, there's Chris, Lindsay, Mark, Deb, Ken, Jen and me and Buzz. That was such a fun day. We walked all over Savannah's waterfront. I loved those Australian people. KJ bought us these big old dried ham bones to chew on while they ate lunch.  It wasn't hot out, so they put us in the car.  The bones were great, but we were so thirsty by the time they got back to the car that we drank water until we couldn't drink anymore.

Later that day we said goodbye to everyone, and drove back.  Well, of course all that water....!  So once again in South Carolina, Ken pulled over, this time at a fireworks place.  Jen put Buzz and me on leashes and let us walk around while Ken went into the store.  I looked up and saw two HUGE animals. I mean, huge.  I barked and barked, but they didn't move. I tell you, I had no interest in getting any closer, but Jen felt like we should meet.  So she pulled me over (Buzz just trotted along) and told me I needed to check them out. She said, "Maxie,  they're just like a building. Not real animals."  So?!  I still didn't want to go but I hated to disappoint her. And Buzz didn't seem worried at all.  I cautiously approached and man, once I got there, I realized by sniffing that many, many other dogs had also visited these gigantic animals.  It was actually pretty interesting.  Sometimes JK just make me do things I don't want to do so I won't be afraid (left over from my puppy days, but that's another story). Jen said, "They're elephants."  Whatever. Smelled like dog pee to me.

And that's the story of the day I found my favorite baby. I have a feeling today's gonna be a really good day. Catch you later.