Are You Knowing This Ham From Cisco?



We get decorated, too

The other day the doorbell rang.  Buzz never hears it anymore; and because he doesn’t bark, neither do I.  But I do go to the door and wag.  By the time J got to the front door, she saw just the back of the UPS man walking down our sidewalk to his truck. Like she always does, she opened the door holding onto me (so annoying) and called out, “Thank you!” and the UPS man waved and then she told me to stay (again, annoying), went onto the porch, picked up the big box, and brought it inside.  I danced around her.  I absolutely love it when we get packages! 

The side of the box said HONEYBAKED HAM.  It was addressed to Kevin Poleman.  I better open this, Maxie, said J.  Looks like Kevin might have gotten a ham. I tell you, it’s getting harder and harder to keep my husbands straight. 

She opened the box with a paring knife and pulled out some insulated wrapping. Inside was a gigantic ham, wrapped in heavy gold foil and frosty with ice. 

Whoa! How nice!  Good thing Kevin and I love ham, J said to me.  I was very interested but J didn’t allow me to sniff it.  I followed her into the garage, where she put it in the freezer. 

Who sent Kevin this ham?  J took a look at the label.  The return address and gift message area said simply, “Cisco.”  Well, Cisco kid certainly is a friend of MINE, Maxie.  Kevin will know who that is...now if we can just figure out who Kevin is.   She left the box on the kitchen table so K would see it when he got home.

Meanwhile J kept working in the kitchen, putting together the food for her brunch the next day. It’s weird, but it seems like when J puts up that house tree, and hangs lights and greenery and ornaments, our schedule gets more interesting. Lots of things happen.  The mystery ham is just one of them.

For instance, a couple weeks ago, JK fed Buzz and me and then took us upstairs to their bathroom and turned on the fan so we couldn’t hear anything else, and then closed the door and left us in there. The bathroom is big but still. This was just so weird.

A couple hours later, J came up and got me. Buzz was asleep in his bed.  She put me on a leash and took me downstairs. Some people want to meet you, Maxie.  The house was full of people I had never seen before! It was actually pretty overwhelming! And on top of that, there was a huge bus parked outside.  I met all these humans who petted me and fussed over me, and I have to be honest, I didn’t know what to think! Then they all filed out the front door and got on the bus.  JK let Buzz and me out of the bathroom, and then THEY got in their car and drove away and followed the bus.

Buzz watched them go.  Yeah. Work party, he told me.  Oh, they used to do that in Georgia. Tell me, was there a real nice older woman, short gray hair with a fine, shapely calf, wearing alluring nylons?  I told him I didn’t know.  It was just so crowded and I had met so many people. 

All I got was the skewer. No elk.

Hmm, too bad.  I’m still not sure why JK weren’t that excited about my amorous attention to that calf that night. I just couldn’t stay away.   Buzz meandered off to his bed, lost in memories.  I had no idea what he meant.  I sniffed around. I could smell all kinds of things, but mostly delicious food, still sitting on the table and the counter.  Under the table I found a skewer.  I had never tasted anything like what was on that skewer. It's elk, Maxie, J told me much later when I brought it to her.  We served grilled elk skewers. 

Apparently JK had a great time at their party and then a couple days later, J had this brunch.  She invited Macy and Hank and their two ladies. Hank wasn’t feeling well, so he stayed home, but his lady and Macy's lady and Macy came – and brought me a present! An orange ball! No wonder I love Macy!  I just can’t believe I get to have that ball in the house.  It is awesome, but last night, I was so exhausted trying to keep track of it that I finally took it over to K and gave it to him, then collapsed in the living room.  Buzz got a squeaky ball with a long tail, which he hid under his camo cushion in his lair.

JK have gone other places too.  It’s just party and present time. Yesterday J and I walked down to Alexa’s, to take her a couple presents. Alexa is the girl who used to have me before I came to live with JK.  It’s the least we can do, Maxie, J said again this year as we strolled up the street to the end of the cul de sac.  There is no gift that will make Alexa as happy as you have made us but we can sure try.  And guess what.  When we dropped off Alexa’s gift, she gave Buzz and me one!!  It’s in a bag! J put it under the tree.  I can sniff it, but I have to leave it alone until I don’t know when.  Last night after I gave K the ball, I fell asleep right beside that gift.  It’s nice to have such great friends, like Macy and Alexa and Hank.  And Fletch.  I’ll have to write about Fletch another time because this is long enough and I need to go wake up K.

Oh, yeah, the ham! Well so then later that day, K got home. He read all the information on the box and made several phone calls, trying to track down the mysterious Cisco; and finally, after talking to the manager of the store that sent the ham, he figured out who it was. JK have nice friends, just like Buzz and I do. But the equally mysterious Kevin Poleman never did show up, to my relief. J is much happier with just one husband, and that is K.  J thinks Kevin must be out looking for his ham.