I was galloping around the back yard a couple days ago while Buzz dozed in the sun on the deck. It felt like it had been a while since I had seen and smelled things like Buzz, my white food dish with the bone on the bottom, and my beat-up soccer ball. I think we were gone for a few days. I remember J, K and I did a lot of driving, and I met endless new friends and got reacquainted with some old ones. It was awesome. We might have even been gone a whole week, I don’t know. Hold on. J says it was 7 weeks that we were gone. Whatever that means.
So, J says I owe a couple notes. But before I put them out there, I need to clarify. I’m alive! Definitely alive.
On the day I was chasing around the yard, J heard her cell phone twirp the arrival of a text message. She went to check it and this is what she read.
Hey Jen – I just this minute found out about Maxwell – oh my gosh – I can’t even imagine all that you’re feeling right now – I’m just so very very sorry. What an amazing little dog – what a huge loss…love you – Lisa
J looked out the kitchen door. I was flipping my favorite tan pot up in the air. At least to her, it looked like I was very much alive, albeit a little crazy. To say she was mystified is a vast understatement. She immediately texted Lisa back several times, using the response most humans would when met with a heartfelt expression of sympathy.
What the heck! Maxwell kis in the back yard!
Is
What did you hear?
Unless a squirrel just killed him…nope =) sorry to make light of it but really he’s fine!
By then Buzz and I were at the door. J let us in, then took her phone up to K’s office. I followed. J said to K, Look at this message I got from Lisa just now. K read it. The question mark above his head added an exclamation mark. Now there were two mystified humans. K said, Tell her I’m OK, too, thanks for asking. They laughed. Just then J’s phone twirped again.
J and K gave me several odd looks, as if to make sure I really wasn’t dead. I tried to look as alive as possible by licking K's hands. They couldn’t imagine what circumstances could have led to Lisa's text.
J and I spent a couple days with Eric and Lisa and family this summer, at the cabin they rented at Swan Lake. I really liked that family. Evan is writing a sitcom pilot and I was doing my best to audition for the part of family dog, but I don’t know how that went. I mostly just spent my time swimming to get my ball in the lake and trying to warm up afterward. Swan Lake is chilly!
So anyway, just then J’s phone rang. It was Lisa. She was weeping. I know it was relief that I was alive, but J says it was actually laughter.
As far as I can tell from the conversation, which consisted of just one or two words per burst of laughter, a couple days before, Evan had gotten a text from a number he didn’t recognize, saying something like,
To all of you who were special in Maxwell’s life, just wanted to let you know he passed away today. I can’t talk about it right now because I’m too sad, but I wish you were here with me.
Something like that. So apparently, TWO DAYS LATER, Evan casually mentioned to Lisa that J had sent him this text about my death. No rush! I'm totally DEAD... but no rush! (This does not bode well for my audition.)
Lisa, shocked, read the text and said her first thought was, “Why would she tell Evan of all people, and not me?” And J says that on the other hand, surely Evan was wondering why in the heck J would want him there with her. Not that she doesn't enjoy Evan, but hanging out over a dead dog...? Lisa, kind soul that she is, rushed to send her condolences to the unaware bereaved, in this case, JK. J laughed away her sorrow all the rest of the day long. So did Lisa. Humans are crazy.
So the mystery of my death is solved, except for who the unfortunate other Maxwell might be; and who the sad text-writer connected to him really IS. Evan doesn’t know. Someone in the vicinity of Terre Haute Indiana.
It does not escape J and K that Lisa understood how sad they would be if I DID pass on, and they appreciate that, and so do I. But happily, I’m still slopping water out of my bowl, chasing my jollyball, caring for my babies, herding Buzz, keeping JK and squirrels in line, and generally spreading enthusiasm for life wherever I can. I've got way too much to do to add dead to the list.
Oh yeah, plus I have to write these notes.
*Heavy sigh.*
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| Oscar is so lucky. Wish I had a little boy in a jail. |
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